While “All About That Orgy” is a new release DVD, most of its scenes were actually filmed years ago. That’s what we in the industry call a “compilation.” It’s often considered a “rehashing” or a way for studios to get the most “bang for their buck.” I don’t typically review compilations, but in this case, I made an exception. Here’s why:

• Burning Angel
• Orgies
• Tattooed girls on tattooed girls on tattooed girls

Because these scenes are clipped from feature films, the set-ups are abbreviated and confusing. If that bothers you, stop by and I’ll hook you up with the full length DVDs. If you’re less concerned with how the townspeople turned into zombies and more into sexy people getting off, you’ve got nothing to worry about.*

Scene one opens when Joanna walks into her bar with a gaggle of friends (James Deen included, ladies.) Mick Blue is all mopey and accuses her of racism because she has no German beer. That’s ludicrous and she’s Joanna Angel, so it’s seconds before a sticky situation becomes sex.

It’s more than probable that you’ve seen Joanna in action. If you haven’t, please know that she has the cutest little body and she’s one hell of a director, even when she’s in the scene.

Kylee Kross and Kleio Valentien join Joanna, James, and Mick in their orgy by the bar. The prettiest moment is Kleio masturbating, flanked by Joanna and Mick on one side and Kylee and James on the other.

The hottest moment is James ass fucking Kleio while Kylee softens the moment orally.

Both dudes release on Kleio which is nice, as she’d enjoyed less attention than the others. Joanna and Kylee cum swap ’til there’s nothing left, and then Joanna declares, “Bar’s Open! Let’s Party!”

*This scene is from “Bartenders.” If you want more of the story, come see me. If you’re just looking to party, read on.

Scene Two is from 2014’s “BBQ Titmasters”:

Sheena Rose is feelin’ awful bad because Kleio Valentien was going to split the prize money with her. Whatever that means. Necro Nicki feels less bad, and Tommy Pistol doesn’t give a fuck. Let it be known that all are in possession of believable southern accents. Trucker hats and wife beaters abound.

When Kleio wanders in, she’s presented with a thermometer as a consolation prize. She demonstrates her appreciation by rubbing it against her clit and declaring it her “special rub.”

Necro and Sheena are tiny and adorable with refreshingly small, natural boobs. Kleio Valentien is one of the most beautiful stars in the industry and Tommy is engaging as all get out.

Tommy Pistol’s top quotables:

• Fuckin ‘merica! (when all three girls gather on his dick)
• You look like three DJs. (while the girls rub on each other)
• I can hear your belly rumbling like you’re gonna puke or somethin’.
• That’s bitter! (after licking Necro’s armpit)

The fact that this scene is almost more funny than it it is hot somehow makes it hotter. There’s no doubt that everyone is actually enjoying themselves. Sheena, who keeps sneakers on the whole time, orally takes Tommy to the balls and all the girls cheer.

Everyone finishes with a trucker honk followed by Tommy’s call of “school’s in session!” He cums a little on each tongue and in a flawless Southern accent, commands, “share!”

Onto Scene Three, from “Joanna’s Angels 3: Douchebag Resurrection”:

On social media, Burning Angel looks like a gaggle of girls who really enjoy fucking, partying, and each other. On film, Burning Angel still looks like a bunch of girls who really enjoy fucking, partying, and each other. Porn is hard work and comes with a ton of complications, I’m sure, but scenes like this leave me wanting an invite to that party.

A bunch of people and/or zombies enter an executive’s suite and/or mayor’s office. Luckily, Joanna has a plan. “Everybody take your shirts off,” she exclaims. Everyone who does (ironically, only the pretty ones) becomes less zombie-like. Three guesses as to what ensues.

If you guessed “so much cluster fuck loveliness,” you win the prize. It’s a room full of Oh Yeahs and Oh My Gods.

I’m stoked to see Skin Diamond. She’s always gorgeous and especially fun to watch with James Deen. They writhe together on the floor, working through some apparently intense anal.

Also, Joanna squirts.

Also, she gets the undivided attention of Mr. Pete, James Deen, and Mick Blue.

Draven Star, Kleio Valentien, and Natalia Marie round out this full and busy scene, which lasts an hour. It’s intense and furious fucking across the board. Viewing it is like browsing a particularly well-stocked antique store–you could do it every day for a week and never see it all. In fact, I just might.

Scene Four is from the aptly named “Vampire Cheerleaders.”

Joanna, Krissie Dee, Jessie Lee, and Draven Star are vampire cheerleaders. Veronica Layke WANTS to be a vampire cheerleader. I’d do anything for cheerleading,” she insists. “Would you die for cheerleading?” Joanna asks. After Veronica agrees, Joanna bites her, and it’s orgy o’clock.

This scene is half the length of the previous orgy and it wraps the film up nicely. For those of you worried about vampire authenticity, I assure you Veronica’s bite marks do show and all of the girls have glowing red eyes. As you’ve gleaned from previous scenes and my interview with Veronica, all five of these ladies are beautiful, talented, and fun to watch. The scene escalates quickly and gets plenty loud and intense.

Remember earlier when I said:

• Burning Angel
• Orgies
• Tattooed girls on tattooed girls on tattooed girls

That pretty much sums it up. Actually, the only reason I continued this review beyond that was to mentally replay its hotness in my mind and to hear myself talk. I hope it inspired you to pick up the comp and/or a few of the titles. Like all Burning Angel productions, they’re well worth it.