Black People Make Love Too
Between our three stores, Taboo stocks over 30,000 DVDs. I take pride in providing everything legal, no matter how outlandish. Preggo porn? We’ve got you. Incest? Absolutely. Obese transsexuals ejaculating on pepperoni pizza? Well, of course! But if you request a quality storyline movie with an all-black cast, we will sheepishly and apologetically offer you the Barbershop parody.
It isn’t for lack of trying that our storyline section is so pale. A few months ago, as I do a couple of times a year, I appealed to the knowledge of my most abundantly stocked DVD distributor for good black couples’ titles. Here are her suggestions:
Hotel O: A five year old flick featuring three of the few big name black male stars and a bevy of white women. (Oh, and one black chick.)
Control: The story of a black couple too busy playing elaborate mind games and trading a white girlfriend to actually have sex, let alone a rewarding romantic partnership.
Vampiress: A seven year old movie following a mostly white gang of female vampires as they terrorize a dude with a tan.
I love my distributor. She has helped me find mature gay Asian bukkake and small breasted girls dressed as bunnies being hunted in the forest. But, hand to God, these were her recommendations for couples’ friendly black DVDs.
There is no shortage of black porn. Taboo is filled to the brim with all-black titles such as Honey Bunches of Hos, Tap Dat Chocolate Trunk, Ba’Dunkin Donuts, and Chocolate Yum Yums. We’ve got Choco Tacos for days, Double Fudge Brownies, and even a bit of Black on Black Crime. Don’t look now, but Your Daughter is Fucking Blackzilla.
I know what you’re thinking. Maybe black people don’t actually love each other. Maybe a black relationship is all about the man slapping the woman in the face with his big, black dick and the woman responding by twerking on that cock. Good guess, but I assure you, it’s not so. So why does porn, which is so good at representing every nook and cranny of sexual behavior, refuse to make room for black erotica?
I’m tempted to call a lot of people out: leading high-end companies for casting caucasians in every role, big name black studios for giving their DVDs titles like “Chicken Hawkin,” and every available entrepreneur for not having recognized and filled this gap. The research is endless and racism is an enormous accusation–not one I’m willing to make lightly. What I can say with confidence is that segregation in the adult movie industry is astounding and embarrassing.
White women entering the industry are routinely asked if they “do interracial,” as if interracial sex is a fetish. “Do you do anal,” I get. “Are you down with rough stuff?” Thanks for asking. “Cool if he cums in your eye?” Let me think on that. But how are we still so divided that taking black dick might be as uncomfortable to a porn star as triple penetration or going down on grandma?
Believable erotica is generally high-end. Couples looking for romance aren’t easily fooled by a single camera and a hotel bed. A company interested in making quality black storyline porn needs two things: money and black stars. The money is clearly there–Taboo’s abundant selection of white couples’ porn proves it–but where are the black stars? I can think of only two black women who, in the past five years, have achieved what I consider porn star status.
One of them, the beautiful Skin Diamond, recently revealed to Vlad TV how she found her success. Her fame came, she says, when she became “down for anything,” including gang bangs and anal. Problem solved! If you’re a black person hoping to make it, all you have to do is whatever the white man asks. (Excuse me while I weep in the corner.)
Recently, while scanning a list of new releases, “Black Couples” caught my eye. I was so excited I almost scrapped the whole blog, but the title continued, “and the White Virgin Babysitter.” I read a hundred new porn titles every day, so the fact that something as innocuous as “black couples” grabbed me speaks volumes. That the production company felt the need to throw in a white virgin babysitter made me want to tear my hair out. The next day, a customer pre-ordered it. It’s all business, I suppose.
I have no clever ending for this blog–no specific accusation to throw and no brilliant solution to suggest. I could organize a march on Silicon Valley, chanting “Black People Make Love Too” but by the time I finished handpainting the signs, DVD would probably be dead anyway. The void in our DVD rooms sucks. Most of the possible reasons for it are sickening. But hey, if you’re in the market for black couples’ porn, might I offer you a spoof of the Cosby Show? I hear it’s hilarious.