I bet you’re wondering what one does to celebrate the impending arrival of a new batch of Godemiche dildos and butt plugs. You’ve got questions and I’ve got answers.

First, you finally christen your first Godemiche dildo with a name. Friends, meet Douglas Sparkle. Douglas Sparkle, these are my friends.

Next, you invite him to join you in the initiation of another intriguing, attractive toy–in this case, Dame Products’ Eva II.

I never tried the original Eva. I honestly can’t imagine why. My best guess would be that it debuted at a time when my to-be-tested toy box overflowith. This happens from time to time, usually corresponding with an intense toy crush–NRE and all that. I’ll admit, the Satsifyer vs. Womanizer debate took up a lot of my “alone time.” Disregard the results in that cage match, by the way, because the Satisfyer has since undergone improvements that have made him as close to a steady as I’ve had in years.

My two favorite things about Eva are its strange, bug-like shape, and the fact that the in store tester came with a beaver. My delight surrounding the beaver is self-evident, so let’s focus instead on its shape.

Eva was designed to offer hands free AND strap-free clitoral stimulation. Most clitoral vibrators that are not hand held either attach to a penis or require stepping into unseemly elastic straps. Instead, Eva sits like an oval stone atop the clitoris and its two thin arms nest inside the labia, keeping it secure and spreading out the sensation.

After some hasty introductions, I squirted Douglas Sparkle with Sutil and we three became intimate. Eva has three levels of vibration.

“Only three?” you ask. “What, no pulsation?”

Yes. Three is truly all you need. And fuck that pulsation noise.

My only complaint is that Eva’s vibrations are of the buzzy variety, not especially quiet and devoid of that deep rumble I love so much. They are powerful, though. Level two is good for me.

What’s really remarkable about Eva is her design. Dougy S. and I didn’t experiment with a ton of crazy positions, but she had no problem staying put. I did keep one finger pressed lightly on her buggy back, just to keep the vibration close. (Is it weird that I keep coming back to the bug thing?)

Eva II is the improved version of the original Eva, which is no longer available. Eva II is smaller and lighter than her predecessor. The button has been moved to a more convenient location and she’s got a bit more rumble. Eva comes with a sleek charging base that transforms into a travel case. She’s also completely waterproof, unlike the original Eva which was splash resistant.

Do I recommend Eva? Absolutely. Is my newfound bug fetish a factor? Certainly. Do I like it primarily because of it’s unique design? You betcha. Do you trust me anyway? Of course you do.

Eva is a fun addition to your toy box and a great new spin on a tried and true couple’s toy. Get yours here, or, (ahem) save a good chunk of change by picking it up in Taboo.