I’m a porn peddler. What are you?
I recently unfriended a close family member on Facebook. Being well into my 30s, I don’t habitually collect and discard “friends.” I connect with people I value, and neither drama nor whim does us part. The person I unfriended is someone I love and respect very much. The final straw in our social media relationship was this photo of me, mostly naked, licking a dildo.
At least that’s how he described it, and the reason he hid me from his page. It embarrasses him that I don’t completely separate my personal life from my business. Never mind that the straightest path to successful entrepreneurship is loving and living what you do.
And never mind that, on my personal facebook page, an occasional photo from one the Taboo Girls Calendars and an expression of gratitude when Taboo wins an award are the only evidence that I own a chain of adult stores. I don’t advertise new toys or promote Taboo’s weekly sales on my page. I don’t review DVDs or even direct friends to my blog.
Taboo has its own presence on facebook and Twitter. For a brief moment back in the dawn of Instagram, I thought I’d found a place where I could be complete. Posting pictures like this one (after a rushed trip to the office with a three week old in tow) felt honest and liberating, and none of my handful of followers objected.
But slowly I learned of friends not following me for fear that a boss or parent might discover “RVA_PRNPDLR” amongst their interests. I dutifully created an Instagram account of Taboo’s own and limited mine to my children and sunsets.
I’m not denying a need for separation. My kids are young now, but it won’t be long before a classmate’s parent catches me loading groceries into a car wrapped with women or a kid stumbles upon one of my toy reviews. I recognize that the day approaches when I might not be able to attach my name to a detailed encounter with a butt plug.
Still, finding and forcing that separation is difficult and at times downright disheartening. Professionally, I gain success by voicing my own commercials, giving interviews, and participating in publicity. Personally, I achieve satisfaction from an open and honest dialog with my customers and sharing my insights and interests freely.
Taboo is my third coolest creation, a large part of personality, and a great source of pride. Yet, when it comes to social media, I share less of my professional life than most of the disgruntled bartenders I know. I’m careful and considerate, but I will never be ashamed.
Of course, for every Instagram follower who is offended by a dildo, there’s one who’s appalled when I appear on the playground. I often hear of people I’ve never met remarking about how wild I must be. Often, my introduction is met with wonder and disappointment, and sometimes relief.
I enjoy experimenting with sex toys. I think porn is fantastic. I spend way more time than your next door neighbor thinking about and looking at sex. That doesn’t make me a polygamist dominatrix with a smoking fetish and three midgets in the basement who is on a perpetual Mardi Gras vacation and doesn’t own a sweater.
I’m a loving and responsible mother. My kids fill my social media not out of obligation, but because they’re awesome. That doesn’t mean I count among my hobbies changing diapers and getting puked on, or that I wish to barricade myself in the Children’s Museum, subsisting off of juice boxes and curiously damp Goldfish crackers.
I’m, proudly, a porn peddler. I’m also a wife, mother, friend, writer, art lover, entrepreneur, Lil Wayne superfan, yogi, cheese connoisseur, Diet Mountain Dew guzzler, home decor enthusiast, and born-and-raised Richmonder. Let’s talk about your sex life. Or mine. Or how Barbie and the Rockers would have obviously bested Jem and the Holograms in a battle of the bands.
Acceptance, after all, is the heart of my business. I’m lucky to work in such a tolerant field, and I’m happy to surround myself with like-minded friends.