“James Deen Does Them All” – Digital Sin
Every Taboo Girl knows that no one does them better than James Deen. In a world of pretty cocks attached to not so pretty men and pretty men who don’t know how to treat a lady (roughly) James Deen achieves the porn trifecta. Consider that my critique of James. Now, for the ladies….
Amy Ried and James Deen look pretty hilarious “working” in an office. For starers, the computers on which they’re furiously typing aren’t powered up. Also, most cubicle workers don’t wear false eyelashes, or lift their skirts when a coworker suggests Korean food. Logistics aside, I can sum up this scene in two points: First, I don’t like Amy Ried. From her looks to her performance to her squeaky little moans, I find her incredibly average. Second, I will probably wear this disc out watching James go down on her. He is magical, ladies. Just magical.
Sadie West has the best voice in porn and James Deen makes a very sexy mailman. What’s more, they just seem to GO together. I enjoy them both separately, but appreciate even more how they compliment each other. I could totally see these two sharing an ice cream sundae. It’s hotter, however, to see them sweaty and entangled. The eye contact in this scene really sets it apart. That, and when Sadie says, “owwie.”
Brianna Love has a great ass. That’s all there is to say about that.
Paris Marie not only seems amateurish, I find myself thinking how much hotter she’d be in an amateur movie. Next to Ed Powers she’d be gold, but isn’t ready for James Deen. For the hell of it, I look her up. Not surprisingly, she only did six flicks.
Natalie Norton spends an awful lot of time masturbating, but it pays off when James enters the scene and is able to dive right in. James is especially vocal and seems to throughly enjoy Natalie, so I do too.
Ashlynn Brooke begins her scene naked in front of a mirror. She admires herself, and there’s a whole lot of lick lipping. I’m concerned that she might notice her terrible tramp stamp and become less aroused, but luckily it escapes her attention. James arrives not a moment too soon and jumps right into some feet and stockings play. He’s a pro, but her moans are so instant and generic, her sincerity is ruined for the rest of the scene. Still, she’s a pretty girl, and I’m impressed that this DVD includes a bit of fetish.
Alexis Texas looks amazing as a brunette. Unfortunately, it turns out to be a wig and she loses it before the sex begins. Of course, as soon as she gets naked, her hair is a non-issue, as she has one of my favorite asses in porn. She’s masturbating with a glass dildo when James appears. Literally, just appears. Like, out of thin air. The way he looks at her makes me want to run to my own glass dildo, but alas, I have a job to do. It’s a great scene. Two hot professionals having hot sex, with James’s charisma and Alexis’s ass as bonuses. Score.
Madison Ivy’s scene is from the same series of DVDs and thus begins with the same solo glass dildo action. Why a comp DVD should include these scenes back to back is beyond me, but it’s hard to complain when a pretty girl is reaming herself with a glass dildo. Again, magical James just appears and poor Madison is left in the unfortunate position of being compared apples to apples with Alexis Texas. She’s cute, but for me she doesn’t measure up.
Melanie Scott is sucking James’s cock in a trailer wearing a fast food uniform. After two scenes of plush couches and pearls, a burger hat has never looked so sexy! Also welcome are Melanie’s brown hair and small boobs. I feel like I’m watching Bang Bus, Celebrity Edition. This scene doesn’t do a lot for me. It could be that James wasn’t feeling inspired that day, but more likely he’s just staying in character.
Jessie Andrews is a lucky bride to be. Too bad for her groom, James wants her. And he has her, in the bathroom at her engagement party. Jessie is very pretty and she’s either a great actress or she has great taste in men. Either way, this scene is fantastic. In fact, I originally started this paragraph with “Oh God. Oh my fucking God.”
Penny Flame has been masturbating and masturbating but she just can’t cum. A girlfriend straps on a dildo and gives it a try, but what she needs is a man, and luckily there’s one sleeping on the adjacent couch. When James comes to, he REALLY comes to, and all of Penny’s problems are solved. It’s a happy ending to my night, as well. Thank you, Penny, and thank you, Mr. Deen. For everything.