A thing about sex toys that never ceases to amaze me is that there are still things about sex toys that amaze me. Sometimes I know exactly how my body will react to a toy before I try it, but more frequently than I’d think possible, I’m caught by surprise. Once in a blue moon, I’m even totally blindsided. Meet my latest blue moon.

At first glance, there are a million reasons to love Mio:

• He’s adorable. At 5.5 insertable inches with a 2″ girth, he’s a chubby little guy with the proportions of a baby koala bear.
• He’s made of pure silicone, so he’s not too hard, not too soft, and smooth as buttah.
• He has a suction cup, and the suction cup works. One of the first things I did when my Mio arrived was stick him to my mirror. See? Adorable.

• Finally, he has a completely useless faux urethra, which gives me an opportunity I never thought I’d have, which is to use the term “faux urethra.”

Cuteness, smoothness, and faux urethra aside, I was skeptical that I’d dig him in bed. As I said, he’s short. And tubby. Baby koalas are fun for snuggling with, but they don’t exactly light my fire. Still, I’m a sucker for anything different so I was excited to give him a try.

We were accompanied by one of my favorite lubricants, waterbased Sliquid and my GF for life, the Lelo Siri. Nothing unusual there, but when Mio entered “the scene” it took about two seconds for shit to get real.

The nearest thing to which I can liken what occurred is that moment when anal sex goes from painful to amazing. The Mio is thicker than my average toy. I was expecting all of that girth at once, but what I’d underestimated was the ridge beneath his head. Like an anal toy, he went very quickly from slightly uncomfortable to a perfect feeling of fullness without the sensation of stretching. Unlike an anal toy, he nestled right up against my g-spot. He was like a cat who curls up in your lap when you’re not feeling well. Or a baby koala, if baby koalas do that sort of thing.

At first I tried him with his full length inserted. There too the pleasant feeling of fullness reminded me of anal play. But soon I was fondly recollecting that first “pop” and I nervously decided to try it again. (“Nervously!” This unassuming, portly dude actually had me feeling nervous!)

On the way out, getting past the head was slightly uncomfortable, but coming back in I again felt that rare, warm g-spot tingle. Further experimentation proved that while I enjoyed small, shallow movements, nothing compared to almost completely removing Mio and reinserting him.

Typically I find that sort of thing disrupting and frustrating, but with Mio, it just felt right. It was like meeting a guy who actually makes you want to take a cooking class or watch football. I expect the ol’ in and out is going to become our “thing.” Our private joke. Our song.

I’m not going to lie–I think I love the Mio. I hope that doesn’t scare him away, but all is well if he comes right back. And leaves and comes back again. And again. And again.

Get yours here!