Take it Outside
I wrapped up many of last summer’s weekdays with almost frantically energetic walks. My kids, who’d often already spent the whole day outside, feigned enthusiasm as I packed them into a double stroller and sprinted down the sidewalk trying desperately to reconnect with my body and the earth.
Often my walks concluded with me on my back, with or without a child in “flying angel” pose. The evenings the kids occupied themselves on the swings, I’d lie back and stare at the slow-moving sky, the grass unpleasantly tickling my ears, feeling grateful for a season that excuses dirt.
One evening, as the stifling summer air mellowed and eased over me, unapologetically stuffing my pores with sweat and the dirt from my day, I considered how perfect it would be if a person were also crawling over me, becoming as much a part of me as the results of the season. It would only make sense, and only be more intense, to share such an earthy, sensual, and vital experience with another.
Sex outdoors, of course, is not a new notion. It’s an easy and obvious kink. A week after losing my virginity, my boyfriend and I tried to eroticize an unsafe standing position in the James River, and that was just one of the two dozen outdoor spots on my then-sex bucket list.
There’s the ever-enticing sex on the beach–the Jägermeister of sex–which sounds so good but feels so bad if you try it before discovering your sand tolerance. The woods are a great place to hide and if you forget a blanket you can lean against–or be handcuffed to–a tree. While a field doesn’t offer much privacy, it’s soft and gives you a broad view of the sky.
If you prefer something manmade under your feet/back, a balcony or rooftop offers a no muss, no fuss fresh air experience, often with stellar views. If you’re lucky enough to have access to a private boat, you’re probably already sexing on it every time you board. Jacuzzis and pools radiate romance at night. A car with the windows down is kind of cheating and kind of uncomfortable, but it counts.
The obvious reason to move your sex outside is to gain a fresh perspective. To “spice things up” if you will. It’s true that removing yourself from the bedroom can go a long way towards removing yourself from a rut. But my argument for sex outdoors is less about location and more about the outdoors themselves.
It’s easy, and often very rewarding, to complicate sex with games, devices, costumes, and other stimuli. It’s how I make my living, and my toy chest overflowith. But let’s not forget that sex is one of our most basic, most human activities. We’ve been doing it since before toys, before movies, before lingerie, before houses. We’ve been doing it since we found ourselves on this earth, so why not occasionally bring it back to the earth? The wind can be your feather tickler; the cold can provide your tingle, and there’s nothing like getting dirty while getting. dirty.
My bed, in my climate controlled bedroom, is a comfortable place to have sex. Seated in my cushy desk chair is a comfortable way to work. But just as eight hours in my office leaves me craving a brisk walk in the sun, pleasant, controlled sex eventually gets old. Comfort is fantastic, but its benefits have their limits.