Vilain Audre – Blush Novelties
Blush is not a sub-par toy manufacturer. On the contrary, I’ve had plenty of sexual successes with Blush products. The Ohm Collection (recently reimagined as Aria) helped me find my bliss. Bad boy Kingpin brought the party. Phat Rabbit took me back to ’97, Arielle became my muse, and Little Mio blew my mind.
So when I received the gift of Audre, I was pleased. Her size and shape are right up my alley. At seven inches (five insertable) and a diameter of 1.4″ she may sound small, but she’s far from a waif. If Lelo Gigi is the unexpectedly enchanting Kate Moss, Vilain Audre is Tyra Banks–all curves, softness, and sass.
I admired Audre’s smooth, silicone shaft and firm, round head, but she sat in my queue for a while because I’ve got a lot of that. And frankly, as highly as I regard them, I’ve never thought of Blush as a threat to an upscale powerhouse like Lelo. Blush initially stole my heart with variety and affordability. Of all the Blush in my collection, their most high-end toy actually solicited my most “eh” review.
So last week, when I found Liz and Melissa paying reverence to a voluptuous pink vibrator, I didn’t recognize Audre. After handling the toy, it took a great deal of self-control to keep from hopping in my car and heading home to my own Audre. I wanted to take her in my arms, offer a thousand apologies, and promptly lose my pants.
Like Tyra, Audre packs power. Blush’s luxury department has definitely worked out some kinks. Here are a few of the features that make Audre more than a pretty face:
- 7 vibrating functions
- But truly deeply powerful vibrating functions
- And they’re quiet
- Flexible shaft
- Firm head
- 5 year warranty
- AC/USB charging cable included (which is kind of a big deal because a lot of toys just come with the USB part and you’re stuck stealing a wall wart from somewhere else and then you wake up next to a phone plugged into nothing and you’ve missed seventeen texts.)
Audre also features a quality, rumbly motor. Level one feels like curling up under an exceptionally soft blanket in front of a crackling fire with a cup of hot cocoa.
Level two is like a shirtless Tyson Beckford splashing Jameson into your cocoa.
At level three, you’ve lost the blanket, the cocoa is gone, and you’re lapping up a whiskey-drenched marshmallow trail along Tyson’s hips.
If clitoral stimulation is your thing, Audre’s got you. She’s powerful enough to satisfy even the most dedicated Magic Wand connoisseur. You can thank me for this piece of information, because I hated removing from her g-spot role to gather it.
As a g-spot stimulator, she’s basically perfect. Balancing firmness and flexibility is a delicate dance, but Audre performs it beautifully. She has more in common (reasonable price point included) with Silhouette 12 than Gigi but you won’t go wrong with any of the three.
There’s but one thing I don’t like about the Vilain Audre and it’s her flirty French femininity. According to Audre’s handbook, “Vilain” means “naughty,” but Google’s top translation is “ugly.” Alternatives include “nasty,” “dirty,” and “horrid.” You see, Audre, trying to seduce me only backfires. You’re no more French than you are a telephone. But if this is about role-play, I’m game. You’re worth it.
Get yours here!